Perspectives
by FireFlower88
Summary: What happens when Moseley follows through on her threat to break up the teams? A harrowing day for Callen, which forces him to examine how he sees the people around him. NOT Nallen. Trying a slightly different procedure in writing this. Let me know what you think!
1. Chapter 1

***S. Los Angeles***

Callen and Nell crept along the outside of the warehouse. Their intel had indicated that Arturo Hernandez, the drug lord whose infamy had risen in the last couple of years, was making a large deal here, trading Cocaine for stolen weaponry. The informant was a Navy Lieutenant who decided that the $25,000 offered to him in exchange for making sure the weapons and accompanying paperwork got "lost", was well-worth his career and freedom; he was, therefore, more than willing to offer information in exchange for a reduced sentence.

Sam had been assigned to work with Deeks, much to each other's' chagrin. Moseley seemed all too happy to slice and dice the usual teams, which prickled all of them deeply. However, Kensi may have had it the worst: she was stuck with Eric in OPS. Why Moseley had done that was beyond any of them, and of course, no amount of begging, pleading, reasoning, or otherwise had swayed her. It seemed she took special joy in watching them squirm…

As Callen and Nell took their positions, Sam and Deeks found theirs and indicated over the earcoms they were ready. On Callen's mark, they quietly breached the warehouse and made their way to where the deal was going down. As Eric had predicted, there were about 8 men; 4 from each side of the trade.

Stealthily, they took up defensive positions and prepared to do what they had come to do. Callen stepped out from his place behind a shelf full of boxes, MP5 shouldered.

 _"FEDERAL AGENTS! PUT YOUR HA-"_ Callen didn't get to finish the sentence as a hail of gunfire began from the dealers. He hastily retreated back behind the shelf as bullets pinged and thudded into the shelf and its contents. He desperately hoped that the boxes weren't too empty. Nell similarly took cover behind him.

Deeks and Sam had taken up positions on the other side of the deal, effectively boxing in the dealers. One of them moved in sight of Callen and Nell and took aim; Callen, focused on aiming his weapon at an exposed arm of a not-so-well-hidden dealer, did not see him. But Nell did; she stepped around Callen and fired off two quick shots before the man even aimed his weapon, and his shot went wild just before he dropped to the ground.

After a short firefight, with much shouting from the dealers as they were hit, the last two criminals surrendered, and Callen stood from his spot. Sam and Deeks moved in, and Sam covered Deeks as the junior agent secured them.

Callen spoke. _"Nice work guys. Nell, way to keep us covered. I think I might've found my new part…..ner….NELL?"_ The concern in his voice ratcheted up several notches as he saw the analyst.

She was curled on her side on the ground, an ominously dark spot growing on the concrete beneath her, spreading away from her upper torso. Callen paled.

" _NELL! Eric, we need EMS to our location, NOW!"_ He dropped to his knees beside her as Deeks and Sam came over. Deeks swore, his face a mix of despair and terror. Sam immediately rushed to help. Callen turned Nell onto her back to see the damage; one shot in her left shoulder, right where her protective vest ended.

" _Must've been a ricochet, G. We gotta plug it with something-"_ Sam said, searching around for anything to use.

" _Here!"_ Deeks disappeared for a moment and came back with a clean bandanna. _"Got it off one of the Hernandez guys."_

Sam took it and folded it quickly, then pressed it firmly to the wound. This was enough to make Nell gasp and open her eyes, then feebly try to wriggle away from the pain.

" _No no, easy Nell! Easy!"_ Callen tried to comfort her, while holding her still. Her eyes found his, as she struggled and failed to hold back the tears of fear and pain as they spilled down her temples.

" _Callen…."_ She whimpered, trying to breathe through the pain, her breath coming in shallow gasps.

" _I know, I know it hurts, but we have to. We can't let you lose too much blood; you're already pale enough."_ He tried to calm her with a joke, but she was in too much pain to even smile. Without realizing it, he had taken her hand in his, and he now felt her squeeze his as waves of agony crashed over her.

In just mere moments (though it felt like forever to them), the paramedics arrived and took over. Callen allowed Deeks to ride with her to the hospital, and stayed behind with Sam to finish processing the scene. Once they were done, they raced to the hospital themselves. The drive was eerily quiet; neither man was ready to lose another person so close to them this soon after Michelle's loss.

Sam broke the silence. _"It's not your fault, G. Could've happened to any of us. Hell, it HAS happened to most of us."_

Callen, whose nerves were already stretched taut, was further annoyed at his partner's uncanny ability to read his thoughts. _"It doesn't matter, Sam. She was my partner. She had_ _ **my**_ _back, but I let her down."_

" _You can't blame yourself, though. This is what we do."_ Sam said gently.

Callen retorted angrily. _"Yes, we! It's not what_ _ **she**_ _does, Sam! She sits in OPS, safely ensconced in a probably bullet-proof room, well-protected from this stuff! If it weren't for Moseley, she would've have been here!"_

Sam replied. _"True, but she_ _ **is**_ _trained to operate as an agent with us, G. I know you hate Moseley as much as the rest of us, but putting Nell out here with us is no different than Hetty's done."_

Callen had no more to say after that, and returned to sitting and brooding in silence.

Luckily, he didn't have much time for it; they arrived at the hospital only a few minutes after Sam's final point was made. As they walked into the E.R., they were mildly relieved to see Deeks sitting outside her cubicle, posting guard.

" _How is she?"_ Sam asked.

Deeks stuck his hands in his pockets. _"Stable. They removed the slug and patched her up. They'll keep her overnight for observation and probably discharge her in the morning. They're just waiting for a bed upstairs to be open, and they'll move her."_

Callen and Sam nodded, Callen's eyes fixed on her tiny form; the bed appeared gargantuan around her, making her seem smaller than usual. Her eyes were closed and several machines beeped as they kept track of her vital signs. She looked so vulnerable…

Just then the nurses arrived to move her to a room upstairs. The doctor confirmed that Nell would be discharged in the morning, barring any complications overnight. She also reassured them that complications were unlikely, as the bullet wasn't difficult to remove, nor was it splintered, giving no reason to suspect any. Callen made the unpleasant call to Moseley to update her on Nell's status.

" _Very well, Agent Callen. I expect your report on the incident on my desk by tomorrow. Once I've reviewed it, we can discuss the obvious deficits in your ability to safely lead this team."_ She said icily, once he had finished his relay.

He gritted his teeth at her demeanor; how could this woman rub him the wrong way on so many levels? He had a number of angry, expletive-filled retorts come to mind before he shooed them away and simply said _"We can discuss those now: there are none."_

" _I'm not having this discussion right now, Agent Callen. You don't get to decide when that happens, I do."_ And she hung up on him.

Callen resisted the urge the throw his phone, punch the nearest wall, and yell, all at once. Sam could feel the rage radiating off of his partner and immediately went over to talk to him. After Callen relayed the infuriating conversation with Moseley (weren't they all infuriating?), Sam suggested they take turns watching over her at the hospital.

" _Kensi and Eric want to as well, so we can with her in 3-hour shifts, starting now."_

Callen nodded and agreed to take the 3am-6am shift, since he was usually awake during those hours anyway. Deeks agreed to take first shift from now until 9pm, then Eric texted, saying he would come during the 9pm-12am shift. Sam took the 12am-3am, and Kensi, they agreed, could have the final shift and hopefully be there when Nell was discharged. Once they got it settled, Callen and Sam left.

***Callen's House***

Callen was upset. No, upset was an understatement; he was distraught. Over and over, the image of Nell replayed in his mind: laying on the ground in a pool of her own blood, her eyes, wide and pain-filled staring up at him, the sound of her voice as she said his name, as if pleading with him to make the pain go away….

It shouldn't have happened. If Hetty were here….

He remembered Sam's comment. His partner was right; Hetty **had** sent Nell out as an Agent before, on several occasions.

Just unlucky, right?

But not Nell…

 _Why not?_

The thought made him stop for a moment. Why not Nell? They all trained, they all knew the risks, what made her so different?

The thought nagged at him as he tried to go to bed and sleep, but he just couldn't stop the images replaying…


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you all for your awesome reviews! I'm trying something a little different with this story, in terms of my writing/editing style; I'm glad to see it's well-received. Just to clarify, this is *not* Nallen, just more like platonic affection between Callen & Nell. :)**

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By the time Callen's turn to keep watch over Nell came, he had hardly slept. He had been plagued with the same nightmare every time he drifted off: Nell's death. Though it changed form, it was no less horrifying to him: in one, he cradled her body in his arms as she breathed her last. In another, he watched as the team tried in vain to comfort a heartbroken Eric. Each time he awoke, he checked his phone to ensure that no one had tried to call him with the terrible news that she hadn't made it through the night.

Finally, he got up for good around 2am. After a quick shower to try and soothe his frayed nerves, he dressed and left his house. Stopping at a 24-hour gas station for a cup of coffee, he made his way to the hospital, arriving at a quarter to three. The hospital was eerily quiet; usually, Callen was more used to seeing them bustling with activity, but he had to remind himself that it was only normal for it to be quieter during this ungodly hour.

He entered her room to find Sam reading on his tablet at her bedside, facing the door. The room was dark, aside from the soft glow emitted by the machines she was connected to. Sam looked up as Callen entered the room.

" _How is she?"_ Callen asked softly.

" _Fine. She woke up briefly when the nurse came to take her vitals. Said her pain level was okay. She knew I was here, and just went back to sleep. Nurse said everything looks good."_ Sam explained.

Callen nodded and sad gingerly on the end of her bed. He looked at Nell and felt a new stab of guilt; if he had only had her back better.

 _If only_ _ **he**_ _had been better…._

Sam read his thoughts as only Sam could. _"Don't go there, G."_

Callen clenched his jaw momentarily before answering. _"I'm not."_ He lied, keeping his eyes fixed on Nell's face. No matter how good of an undercover agent he was, he could never lie to Sam's face, no matter how hard he'd tried.

Sam gave him the "I smell bullshit." Look. _"Bullshit, G. Don't lie to me; I can see it in your eyes. What happened was not your fault."_

 _"But it shouldn't have."_ Callen whispered back, trying to hold back the emotion behind the words. _"You, me, we can take it. Not her."_

Sam raised an eyebrow at the last two words. _"G, something you wanna tell me here? Something going on between you two that I somehow missed?"_

At this, Callen looked at him. _"No, it's not like that at all. I mean, she's adorable and all, but Anna's much more my type."_

Trying to break the tension, Sam joked. _"You mean, hot as hell, but can still knock you on your skinny ass?"_

It worked; Callen smiled before replying. _"Yeah, something like that."_

Relieved that the mood had lifted at least a modicum, Sam stood from his chair and stretched. _"Well, on that note, I'm gonna go. I'll see you in the morning, G."_

Callen nodded and stood to take Sam's chair. Sam bumped Callen's shoulder with his fist in a brotherly departing gesture and left. Callen took over his vigil, but the mood shifted back to darker thoughts. For over an hour, he lost himself in analyzing what went wrong, and what he needed to fix in his own practices.

His attention was suddenly diverted when Nell began to stir in the bed. She grimaced and moaned softly, putting a hand to her wounded shoulder. Callen sat forward in his chair and put his hand on her left arm.

 _"Easy Nell. It's okay. You're safe now."_ He soothed.

She opened her eyes and blearily looked around until she found the source of the voice. Even though she was clearly in pain, she smiled a little at him. _"Hey Callen."_

He smiled back; it alleviated a fraction of the guilt to see that she at least was still happy to see him. _"Are you okay? Do I need to get the nurse?"_

 _"Um, no, you can help me. I just need to, uh, use the facilities."_ She said, trying to sit up, even though Callen could clearly see it hurt her to do so.

 _"Oh, okay. Um, yeah…here."_ He said, offering his hand for her to use with her good arm as leverage, given that her left one was useless and in a sling. She took it and managed to get up, swaying slightly as she stood up for the first time in several hours. He gently held her steady until the dizziness passed.

 _"I'm good."_ She said with a reassuring smile. Still holding his hand for support, she nodded toward the stand with her IV bag. _"Can you-"_

Callen grabbed it with his other hand without waiting for her to finish. He got her to the bathroom and stood outside it while she finished. When she was done, they made it back to the bed and he got her situated. By that time, he could see that the exertion had not only tired her, but that she was in a significant amount of pain. This time, he didn't ask if she needed the nurse; he just pressed the "Call" button near her bed.

 _"You didn't have to do that, Callen."_ Nell said through another grimace as she tried to adjust to alleviate the now constant pain in her shoulder.

Callen rolled his eyes at her. _"Just because Sam and I get to be Superman and Batman doesn't mean you have to try and be Wonder Woman._

Nell looked at him in surprise. _"Did you just make a Justice League joke? You, G. Callen, made a comic book joke?"_

Callen smirked and shrugged. _"Yeah, well, my home might be spartan, but that doesn't mean I don't watch movies."_

Nell smiled. _"I suppose it's safe to say Deeks might be Aquaman…but who would be the Flash?"_

Callen thought for a moment. _"I dunno…I think Deeks might actually fancy himself as the Flash…but I see where you're going with the 'surfer dude' persona…"_

Before he could continue, Nurse Helen came in. _"How you doin', Sweetie? You hurtin'?"_

Nell tried to play it down as the nurse came around to the other side of the bed. _"No, not really."_ But Callen caught Nurse Helen's eye and slyly gestured the opposite. Nurse Helen pursed her lips in acknowledgement.

 _"Uh huh. Well, I'm gonna give you another dose of painkillers, 'cuz your face is tellin' me otherwise."_ She prepared the drip into the IV line. _"No need to try and be Wonder Woman, ya know…"_

At this, Callen snorted, trying (and failing) to hold back his laughter. Nell just scowled at him with mock annoyance.

 _"Alright. You'll be feeling it any second now. Try to get some rest, so you can be discharged on time later today."_ Nurse Helen gave Callen a pointed look, the meaning of which was not lost on him, and then left.

 _"Well, you heard the good nurse; you need to rest."_ Callen said.

 _"But-"_

 _"No 'but's. You'll have to finish our superhero debate later, most likely with Eric; I get the feeling he'll have a better analysis than I would, anyway."_

Nell's eyes were feeling heavy, anyway. Reluctantly, she acquiesced. _"Oh, alright."_ She sighed as the meds kicked in, making her much more comfortable. _"Thanks, Callen."_ She said through slightly slurred lips.

 _"For what?"_

 _"For….being….you."_

Callen started to ask what she meant by that, but he could tell by the change in her breathing that she was back to sleep. He looked at his watch; it read 4:53am. One more hour to go until Kensi would arrive for her shift. While he was relieved that she didn't seem to be angry at him or blame him for her injury, he still couldn't shake that niggling feeling that it was all his fault…


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to all who read and reviewed Ch. 2! Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa, and Happy Holidays to those who celebrate others I don't know about!**

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Two days after Nell's discharge, and after some haggling, Nell convinced Mosely to clear her to come back to OSP. Her shoulder was still recuperating, and would be for several weeks, but Mosely was concerned that Nell's pain medication would cloud her mind. Nell assured Mosely that it would not be an issue.

Three days after returning to work, Nell began to think maybe, she had bitten off more than she could chew. When she took the bare minimum dosage (which was half of what the doctor ordered), it didn't make her mind fuzzy, but it also did little more than take the edge off the pain. When she took the proper dose, it took the pain away, but with it went her ability to stay awake or focus. Naturally, she tried to hide any sign of weakness for fear of being sent home, but not everyone was fooled.

Eric had been watching her struggle all morning; he had suspected since yesterday that Nell was hurting more than she let on, but his inquiries had been met with a perfunctory _"I'm fine, really."_ response. Now, he could feel the tension radiating off of her as she tried to keep it together. Turning in his chair beside her, he decided it was time to act.

 _"Nell."_

 _"What?"_ Came the strained response.

 _"Stop this."_ He said softly.

She tried to play dumb. _"Stop what? Working? That's what we're paid to do, Beale."_ She continued to try and keep typing, but her left hand was still not cooperating as well as usual, making it difficult to type or hold her tablet so she could use it with her right hand, and it was adding frustration to her pain-induced short temper.

Eric reached over and took her hands in his, gently pulling her to face him. _"Stop. Trying. To be. A hero. You have nothing to prove by hurting yourself. Why don't you ask the doctor to up your dose, if it's not working?"_

Nell sighed. _"It does work, Eric. It works too well; it takes away the pain, but then I can't work. It makes my brain fuzzy and slow, and I can't work in that capacity. Mosely already threatened to send me home if they compromise my abilities. I can't give her the satisfaction of winning."_

Eric's face turned deadly serious. _"Penelope Jones, are you saying you're not taking your meds_ _ **at all**_ _?!"_

 _"No! I've been taking halves. Instead of one tablet, I cut them in half."_ She explained hurriedly. Eric relaxed a little at her explanation, but still maintained his expression of concern and empathy.

 _"But this clearly isn't good for you, either! And you're not going to fool anyone else. Why don't you cut back to half days or something?_

 _"Because I don't want to, Eric! I don't want to sit home and do nothing all day! I don't want to be the weakest link here. Callen and Sam and Deeks have all been shot and come right back; why not me?"_ Nell said, tears of shame and frustration threatening to spill down her face.

 _"Aw, Nell."_ Eric handed her a tissue. _"Nobody here thinks you're weak! We all know you're tough as nails. But suffering like this isn't good for anyone, least of all you. Seriously, you should go home and rest. Don't make me tell Mosely on you."_ He added the last part with a humorous smirk.

Nell glared back at him through watery eyes. _"You tell Mosely on me, and I tell her that you changed your login password to 'M0se1y_P1cks_Her_N0se1y'."_

Eric gaped at her. _"You win….for now."_ He said, and walked out of OPS. Meanwhile, Nell sighed and turned back to her station. A small smile formed on her lips as she reveled in her "victory", however minor it was.

But Eric had other ideas. Once he was certain he wasn't being followed, he went straight to Callen. He knew that if push came to shove, Callen could find a way to convince Nell to slow down.

He found Callen with Sam in the gym, engaged in a vigorous kick-boxing workout. Callen dropped his stance at Eric's approach, and Sam followed.

 _"Got some new intel?"_ Callen asked.

 _"Well, not exactly. Can I talk to you for a second, Callen?"_ Eric replied.

Sam and Callen exchanged a brief look; Eric didn't usually ask for private conversations with anyone. _"Sure."_ Callen said. _"It'll give Sam a chance to catch his breath."_ He said jokingly as he followed Eric into the locker room.

Once they were far enough from the door so that Nell couldn't possibly overhear them, Eric began. _"Nell hasn't been taking her pain meds as instructed, and it's killing her. She doesn't want to miss work, but taking them correctly is messing with her head, and she said Mosely will send her home if they do…"_

Callen felt a mix of emotions all at once: Anger at Mosely for a.) putting Nell in the position where she got injured in the first place, and b.) for issuing such a threat, knowing how dedicated his team was to doing their jobs. Anger at Nell for tormenting herself. Sadness that she was in so much pain due to his inability to protect her. Regret that he hadn't….

He sighed and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He realized Eric was still talking. _"…anybody could convince her, it would be you."_

Callen nodded. _"I'll talk to her right now. How long has this been going on?"_

 _"Since she came back. I haven't seen her take anything this morning yet."_

Callen swore under his breath and headed for OPS.

Two and a half minutes later, Callen all but stormed into OPS, barely waiting for the automatic doors to slide out of his way. He marched right up to Nell and stood over her as she leaned against the table in the middle of the room.

 _"Nell Jones, what in the name of all that is holy is this that I hear you're not taking your meds?!"_ He growled.

Nell looked toward the doors, where Eric stood with arms crossed over his chest. _"You…you snitched-"_

 _"I threatened to tell_ _ **Mosely**_ _; you never said I couldn't tell anyone else."_ He said with an air of pride at having outwitted her. Nell, however, groaned and rolled her eyes.

Callen swiftly took her tablet out of her hand and set it on the table behind her. _"You're going home. That's an order."_

 _"But-"_

 _"Unless you'd like me to get it from Mosely? I'm just saying for today; who knows how long she'll put you on medical leave."_

Nell glared at him, her frustration at being beaten evident. _"Fine. But what happens when she asks where I've gone? She'll find out, anyway."_

 _"Let me worry about that, Nell. Are you able to drive yourself?"_

She nodded; despite her anger at being sent home, she felt an equal part of relief to be able to escape the ever-present pain that radiated down to her very fingertips, up her neck, and down her ribcage. Eric helped her gather her things and go down to her car.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the extreme delay in this chapter. I got kind of busy finishing my final semester of university and having a baby halfway through it! So here's chapter 4, FINALLY!**

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***Later that night***

Nell was laying on her couch, dozing as reruns of "Golden Girls" played on the TV. Upon her arrival, she had changed into sweats and taken the proper dose of her pain meds….which had, as expected, knocked her on her ass. All day, she had barely risen from the couch, except to get water and small snacks (to avoid the nausea that could accompany the meds) or use the bathroom. Eric had texted her periodically, asking if she was okay or needed anything, to which she replied "Yes" and "No, thank you." Therefore, she wasn't expecting the knock on her front door, which awakened her. She considered ignoring it, in hopes that whichever solicitor was standing on her doorstep would go away, until a familiar, but surprising voice accompanied the knock.

 _"Coming!"_ she hollered as loudly as she could in her post-slumber stupor. Clumsily, she got up off the couch and shuffled to open the door. _"Callen? What's going on?"_

Callen stood there, holding a paper grocery bag. _"I just wanted to check in on you."_

Nell raised an eyebrow. _"You could've texted me to do that."_ She sensed there was something else he wasn't telling.

Callen knew he was busted and smiled a little. _"Yeah, you got me there. Actually, I thought you might be a little hungry and need some help making food. I brought some soup and juice…."_ He trailed off as she moved back and opened the door further to let him in. He continued as he stepped inside. _"…I don't know much what you like, so I kind of got a couple of varieties: apple, cranberry…soup is pretty standard, chicken noodle and vegetable beef."_

Nell closed the door and smiled at him. _"Chicken noodle and apple juice sound great, actually. Thank you, Callen; you didn't have to do this."_

An odd shadow passed over his face for the briefest of moments, although not too briefly that Nell missed it. He turned toward the kitchen and she followed him. When she tried to help him locate necessary cooking implements, he playfully shooed her away.

 _"Ah-ah-ah! No need, I can find my way around a kitchen."_

Nell snickered. _"Really? From what I hear, your kitchen is a never-ending source of take-out containers. Do you even *own* pots and pans?"_

Callen took on an air of mock-indignance. _"Hey, just because I don't own them doesn't mean I can't use them."_ He said as he waved a small saucepot for emphasis. _"Besides, I find these more useful as weapons than cooking implements."_ He paused for a moment and said with grin, _"And I learned both abilities from Hetty."_ Nell snickered as the image of their diminutive boss, brandishing a stockpot lid and meat mallet as a shield and weapon, danced through her drug-addled brain. That snicker quickly turned into a full-on belly laugh as the image changed to include the armed-to-the-teeth Hetty successfully chasing off an intruder in that state. The laughter, combined with the meds, caused Nell to first lean against the wall, then slide down it until she sat on her kitchen floor, cracking up. Callen couldn't help but join in laughing at the sight of her becoming completely immobilized by her mirth, made even more amusing by the fact that she had yet to explain what was so funny.

 _"Nell, what the hell did they give you?"_ Callen asked, more rhetorically than seriously, as he carefully helped her up from the floor and into a chair at the table, once she finally stopped laughing. _"Now what was so funny?"_ Nell told him as he continued heating up her soup. He raised his eyebrows at the mental image. _"The sad part is, she_ _ **did**_ _chase off some raccoons that way on a few occasions."_

Once the soup was hot, Callen brought her a bowl and sat down across the table from her. Nell frowned and said, _"Aren't you going to eat?"_

 _"No, it's all for you. I'm not hungry right now."_

Nell did not believe him. She gave him her best "Hetty-Gorgon" stare. _"I call shenanigans."_

Again, that shadow flicked across his countenance. This time, Nell didn't let it go. _"Callen, I may be high as a kite on these meds, but I don't miss everything, and I certainly can still tell something is wrong. What's going on?"_

He hesitated briefly before speaking. _"Nothing. I just…kinda feel bad about you getting hurt. I wanted to try and make it up to you a little."_ He found himself unable to make eye contact with her as he made his admission.

Nell put down her spoon. _"Callen, please don't feel bad. This kind of stuff happens to you guys all the time; much more often than Eric, Hetty, or I care for, frankly."_

 _"Yes, but that's different; we're trained field agents-"_ Callen tried to explain, but Nell cut in.

 _"-As am I! Have you forgotten? I'm the 'Nellverine', remember?"_ She said with a smile at the last part. Callen did smirk at the mention of the moniker he had bestowed upon her.

 _"Yeah…I just…"_ Callen started, before the emotion threatened to cut off his reply. The image of her laying on the cold concrete, growing paler than ever as the pool of her blood grew around her, began to replay in his head. _"It scared me to death to see you like that."_ He finished in little more than a whisper. Nell stayed quiet to let him continue. _"It made me realize how much you mean to me, as a friend. I wanted so badly to fix it, to protect you better…and I just couldn't. And then seeing how much pain you were in and knowing that it was my fault, it just made it worse."_

Nell nodded as realization kicked in. _"That's why you were so adamant about me going home today."_ Her heart ached for him. _"Well, I appreciate you doing so. I think we_ _ **all**_ _get a little too tough for our own good sometimes. You don't have to 'atone' for me getting hurt, but if it makes you feel better about it, then I accept it, with the one condition that you forgive yourself and let it go from here on out. Deal?"_

Callen nodded pensively. After a few moments of silence, he answered, _"Deal."_

Nell smiled in relief. _"Good."_ She finished her soup and sighed happily. Callen took her bowl and she got up and began to make her way back to the couch. She winced as she sat down, which was not missed by Callen. He picked up her prescription bottle and asked, _"When's your next dose due?"._

 _"Right about now."_ She said with a grimace. He shook out the pill and handed it to her, which she took with her remaining apple juice. _"You're welcome to stick around, but in about 15 minutes, I'll be conked out."_ Callen shook his head. _"No, I'll be going here in a minute. Do you have everything you need now, before I go?"_ Nell nodded. _"Thank you for everything, Callen."_ She said, her speech just beginning to slur. He smiled and replied, _"You're welcome, Nellverine. Goodnight."_ She locked the door behind him and got back to the couch. In no time at all, she was comfortably sleeping.


	5. Chapter 5

_***For those of you waiting for the showdown between Callen & Mosely, here it is. I hope it lives up to your expectations.***_

* * *

Callen was exhausted. He hadn't slept well again, and today's exertions hadn't helped much. Even Kensi and Deeks' usual banter was beginning to grate on his nerves. As he packed up his things and prepared to head home, Sam broke through his dark mood.

 _"Why don't we go get some brewskis, G? We can talk about whatever's on your mind."_

Callen had to admit, that idea did sound appealing. He knew he didn't need another night at home, left alone to his thoughts. _"Sure Bud. Sounds good."_ But before any of them could leave, Mosely approached.

 _"Mr. Callen, my office."_ She said tersely and turned to walk away. But Callen was in no mood to deal with her right then.

 _"Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of my team."_ He replied testily, dropping his bag on his desk hard and crossing his arms over his chest. Kensi, Deeks, and Sam all stood rooted to their spots, unsure of what to do next. Sam would have his partner's back without hesitation, but Kensi and Deeks deliberated inwardly whether they should sneak out or stay. They really didn't want to be a part of what promised to be a very hostile conversation, but Callen's statement made it seem that he wished them to stay.

Mosely turned back on her heel, almost incredulous at the agent's insubordination. She walked the few steps back. _"Very well, it's your tongue-lashing, not mine. I've reviewed your report on the incident during which Agent Jones was wounded. While you make it seem that there was nothing you could do to protect her, I find it hard to believe. I've also reviewed your other teammates' files and found there to be a history of injuries while under your command-"_

Callen interrupted her. _"Are you seriously insinuating that I'm to blame for the violent and risky nature of our job?!"_ he said, raising his voice slightly.

 _"DO NOT INTERRUPT ME, AGENT CALLEN!"_ Mosely yelled back, taking a step forward.

Sam tried to diffuse the situation, despite his own anger rising toward the woman. _"Assistant Director, you should know as well as anybody that this job is risky and dangerous. None of us can-"_

This time, it was Mosely's turn to interrupt. _"This is between Agent Callen and me. If I want your input, I'll ask for it."_ She snapped without taking her eyes off of Callen. _"Now, Mr. Callen. Unless you'd like me to relieve you of your post, you will revise your report to include the mistakes you made that you left out."_

Exasperated, Callen shouted, _"AND WHAT MISTAKES ARE THOSE?! WHY DON'T YOU SAVE US ALL THE TIME WASTED ON GUESSING AND JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK I DID WRONG? BECAUSE ANYTHING I COULD HAVE DONE TO DO TO PROTECT AMY EXISTS ONLY IN YOUR MIND!"_

 _"G…"_ Sam said quietly, an expression of concern etched on his face. But Callen was too far gone to hear him.

Callen stepped closer to Mosely. _"I HAVE LED THIS TEAM TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY, AND I BELIEVE I'VE DONE A DAMN GOOD JOB. YOU WANT HONESTY? HOW ABOUT WE DISCUSS WHY AGENT JONES WAS THERE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE?"_

 _"AGENT CALLEN!"_ Mosely tried to interrupt Callen again, but it was no use; he was like an unmanned train, speeding along the rails, heading for certain disaster. He stepped closer to Mosely again. He was now all but nose-to-nose with her.

 _"IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU, DICKING AROUND WITH OUR TEAMS FOR YOUR SICK PLEASURE, AMY WOULD'VE NEVER BEEN-"_

 _"CALLEN!"_ Sam bellowed in his SEAL Chief Petty Officer tone and volume. This finally got Callen's attention, who turned to Sam. _"WHAT?"_

Calmly, Sam spoke. _"Are you aware of who you're talking about?"_

Mosely remained quiet, frozen on the spot, despite the Senior agent's proximity to her. Callen looked at Sam, confused. _"Of course; we're talking about Nell. What the hell are you talking about?"_

 _"You called her 'Amy'."_ Sam said.

 _"No, I didn't. I said 'Nell'."_ Callen tried to argue. But Kensi softly chimed in, not wanting to rouse his wrath into her direction. _"No, Callen. You said 'Amy'. I heard it, too."_ She said.

Callen froze. Wordlessly, he grabbed his bag and stalked out the door, leaving the conversation unfinished. Mosely tried to summon him back, but he ignored her. Once he left the building, she turned back to his team. _"Who's Amy?"_ she asked.

Kensi and Deeks walked away, eager to get the hell out of there. Sam picked up his things and made his way out, but as he passed Mosely, he stopped. _"The fact that you have to ask that question proves that you know nothing of this team. Why don't you examine your own inadequacies before excoriating us for ours?"_ He said angrily. He then walked out without waiting for an answer, leaving Shay Mosely to ponder exactly what had just transpired.

* * *

It wasn't hard for Sam to find Callen; after so many years of being his partner, it was pretty easy to guess where Sam would find him.

At first, he kept his distance, watching over his partner from a place he was certain Callen couldn't see him. He knew Callen would want some time and space to think before giving any explanations for his outburst. Sam had also been partners with him long enough to respect those wishes. Until such a time that thinking turned into brooding, that is.

He could see why a person might come here to think. It was quiet and peaceful, with the balmy Southern California breeze that whispered through the trees that surrounded them. Not many people came here, and those that did respected the serenity of this place and did not disturb it.

After about an hour, Sam decided it was time. He left his spot near the pond and made his way through the cemetery toward his friend.

* * *

It all made sense now.

His inability to stop replaying the incident in his head.

The constant flashes of seeing Nell so helpless and in pain.

The guilt that gnawed at his very soul day and night.

 _"I couldn't save her."_ Callen thought as he stared at the headstone in front of him. He sat with one knee drawn up on the grass, leaning back against the headstone of the person buried in front of Amy. The headstone was warm after being in the sun all day; it was comforting to feel its warmth seep into his back. It kept away the chill one usually feels in cemeteries.

For over an hour, he'd sat here, thinking. Thinking about the sister he couldn't save, and the friend he did. About how he wasn't there for Amy, and why he was so driven to be there for Nell. He finally realized why he felt all of the turbulent emotions he'd wrestled with since Nell's shooting: _she was like a little sister to him. And like a big brother, he felt compelled to make sure she turned out alright in the end._

It was as if a weight had been lifted. Maybe it was just the soothing heat from the gravestone relaxing his tense, aching shoulders, but Callen swore he felt…lighter. Relieved. At peace.

The sound of approaching footsteps reached his well-trained ears. He turned his head to see Sam approaching him. At first, he was annoyed that Sam had followed him, but this feeling was quickly replaced by affection and gratitude that his friend cared about him so much.

 _"Hey."_ Sam said simply as he stopped.

 _"Hey."_ Callen replied.

Sam waited a beat before breaking the silence. _"You okay, Partner?"_

Callen sighed. _"Yeah, I'm good."_ He said, nodding.

 _"Wanna talk about it?"_ Sam asked.

This time, it was Callen who hesitated a moment before answering. _"Sure. How about over those brewskis? And maybe some nachos; I'm starved."_ He raised a hand to Sam, who took it and pulled him up to his feet.

Sam smiled. _"Sure thing, Buddy."_ He answered as they walked back to his car. Looking around, he realized he didn't see Callen's. _"Did you walk here?!"_ he asked, astonished.

Callen looked a bit sheepish. _"Yeah. I was so upset, I got halfway here before I realized where I was going and that I was still on foot."_

Sam turned serious. _"Then if you're getting in my car, no beans on those nachos!"_

Callen just laughed as he got inside the Challenger.


	6. Chapter 6

_Hello everyone! I apologize for the extremely long delay! I never forgot about you all; I was just extremely busy with a new baby, graduation, and technical problems. Here is part of the showdown you've all been waiting for!_

* * *

The next day, Callen entered the Mission with a whole new sense of dread. He knew his goose was as good as cooked after his standoff with Mosely. He halfway hoped that fate might've stepped in to save him overnight; maybe she caught the flu and wouldn't be in today. Maybe Hetty finally returned and took her rightful place back in her desk chair, pot of tea brewing nearby. But he knew both scenarios were as likely as Mosely just apologizing and sending him on his merry way.

As he approached, he could hear the other three members of his team partaking in their usual morning banter.

" _...possibly be serious! Salsa is not a stew!"_ Sam exclaimed.

" _Think about it! Stew is chunks of stuff in a broth; salsa is the same thing!"_ Deeks could be heard arguing while Kensi just laughed and laughed. The sound was an absolute melody to Callen's ears and it lightened his mood slightly.

But that mood was short-lived; as he rounded the corner into their view, the mirth died down, quickly replaced with an air of awkward silence. While Sam had cleared the air with Callen the night before over nachos and beer, Deeks and Kensi hadn't seen him since he left the Mission in a hurry. They weren't sure what to say to him, unsure of his mood or whether he wanted to ignore the elephant in the room or address it. In an attempt to make peace with them, Callen set his bag down and tried to act as though nothing had happened.

" _Morning, Kens. Deeks."_ He said, perhaps a little too cheerily. Their one-word responses of " _Hey"_ indicated their uncertainty. He knew what he needed to do.

" _Hey guys, I'm sorry I lost it last night. I should've kept my cool, but I just couldn't take another moment of her antagonizing."_

Kensi spoke up almost immediately. " _Well, it's not like she didn't have it coming; I know I've been wanting to give her a piece of my mind and maybe a fist for quite some time now. I was just stunned you actually had the guts to go toe-to-toe with her like that."_

Deeks chimed in. " _Yeah, I mean, you weren't wrong, what you said. I might've taken a smoother delivery, but the message was dead-on."_ he said with a smirk.

" _Well, I appreciate that, but it was still wrong."_ Callen said. He turned and looked up toward Mosely's office, expecting to see her glaring malevolently down at him like some sort of possessed house cat, but was surprised to see her office empty.

" _She's not in yet?"_ He asked. Before his team could answer, Eric called them upstairs for an update on their case.

 _***Several Hours Later***_

Callen and the team sat at their desks, working on their case paperwork, when Callen's phone rang. Wordlessly, he hung up after a moment, much to the curiosity of his desk-mate.

" _That was Mosely. She wants to see me in her office."_ he told Kensi. He rose and climbed the stairs, wondering if that was the last time he would ever sit at his desk. As he entered her office, she instructed him to close the door, and he did.

" _Sit down, Mr. Callen."_ she said icily.

Callen momentarily considered defying her, but decided it was wiser to play by her rules, given that his job was firmly in her claws. He wordlessly sat, but crossed his arms in a small show of defiance; no matter how much power she held over him, he was not about to cower like a whipped puppy to her.

Mosely folded her hands and leaned forward on her desk. She had all the appearance of a hunter who knew her prey was at her mercy. Callen resolutely held her gaze, unwavering, as he waited for her to speak.

" _I've waited for this day."_ she said just above a whisper.

Callen paused a beat before answering. " _I know you have."_ he responded.

She raised an eyebrow. " _Do you? Well then, I'm surprised you don't have more to say about it. I mean, we *are* talking about your future here at NCIS-your very career. And it's in my hands."_

Callen maintained his air of disdain and aloofness as he replied, " _If you expect me to grovel and plead for my job, you're drinking the kool-aid. The only thing I want to know is why? Why do you hate us all so much? Why do you hate *me* so much? What in God's name have we ever done to you?"_

Mosely stood and looked out the window of her office at his team. She seemed to be fighting an internal debate of whether to answer him or not. So he poked at her a little bit.

" _Come on, you owe me that much. If you're gonna fire me, you owe me an explanation as to why you'll go to such lengths as fabricating inadequacies-"_

" _I DON'T OWE YOU A GODDAMNED THING! We all know how much you've had handed to you by your previous boss-slash-foster mother! That woman has made my life hell, and it's finally my turn to dish back a little of it!"_ Seeing Callen's perplexed expression only fueled her rage. Before she could continue, he jumped up and fired back.

 _"You mean to tell me that this is all revenge against Hetty?! Playing with OUR LIVES has been just a big game for you!?"_ he shouted.

" _That woman used to be an icon to me, a role model! She stood for everything I wanted to believe: that the only thing that can hold you back is your own attitude."_

 _"These are people, Shay! You can't put agents in danger just to fuel your vendetta for revenge!"_ Callen's own rage took such a stranglehold on him, it took all of his self-control to keep from physically attacking her. _"A leader is supposed to PROTECT the agents in their team, not dick around with them like pawns in a chess game! I can't believe you've been doing this all along! Hetty would be horrified that you're doing this to her team!"_

 _"I fought to be on her team, oh I fought so hard! But every time an opening presented itself, she chose someone else. Year after year, I waited….and finally gave up. I pursued other paths to get where I am, and oh, I'm reveling in the glory. I suppose, in some twisted way, I should almost be thanking her, because now, I'm the one in power instead of….well, in your place."_ she said with a sardonic smile. Callen tried to hide his emotions at her revelation, but the shock was still etched on his face. Mosely continued as she walked back to her desk, " _So now, here we are. And now, Mr. Callen, it's time to sign your termination papers."_ She opened the file laying on her desk, but before she could go any further, the door burst open.

" _You fire him, I quit!."_ Sam said as he stalked into the room, followed closely by Kensi and Deeks.

" _And me!"_ they said, almost in unison.

Callen turned around, feeling a mixture of appreciation at their loyalty and horror that they would sacrifice so much for him. " _Guys no! This is between Director Mosely and I! Please, don't do this; Kens, Deeks, you guys have a wedding to plan! You can't do that if you quit your jobs now!_

Both agents shook their heads, not hearing a word of it. They began to argue back with him.

" _It doesn't matter, Callen! We heard everything; I'm not working for her!"_ Kensi said.

" _Neither am I! Like hell am I going to let myself or Kensi play her sick game._ _You can't just let her win like this!"_ Deeks exclaimed.

" _You're not getting rid of me that easily, G. We're partners for life."_ Sam chimed in.

Mosely watched them continue to argue for several seconds, an evil grin slowly spreading over her face. She finally spoke up. " _THAT'S PERFECTLY FINE WITH ME! Get rid of all four of you at once? Not a problem; I'll have your termination papers ready immediately and have you all replaced by dinnertime tonight!"_

" _Good luck replacing us, then!"_ another voice replied. Everyone turned to face the doorway, where now Eric and Nell stepped into the room. Nell spoke again, her loathing for Shay Mosely only thinly veiled in her tone. " _W_ _e quit, too!_ _And I guaran-damn-tee you, you won't find another team of 6 people as qualified, competent, and dedicated to this job as us!"_

To everyone's surprise, Eric pushed his way through and leaned over the desk menacingly. _"Nobody messes with my girl."_ he growled. Multiple sets of eyebrows shot up, including Nell's; they'd never seen Eric this angry before.

Mosely's resolve began to waver slightly. " _Very well; I can arrange that, too!"_ She said, sounding just a bit hysterical; this clearly hadn't gone the way she had planned it. She picked up her phone to call HR.

" _NOT SO FAST, MISS MOSELY!"_

Everyone turned again toward the door at the unmistakable sound of that familiar voice.


	7. Chapter 7

_Sorry for the long delays between chapters! I'm writing them as I go, and inspiration sometimes takes its sweet time. This one's shorter than the others, but hopefully, it's worth the wait for you all._

* * *

Hetty stood just inside the doorway to Mosely's office, hands clasped behind her back. In her usual ninja fashion, her approach had gone unnoticed, and she had chosen to let Mosely go just far enough to seal her fate. She locked eyes with Mosely and gave her that trademark Gorgon stare.

For several moments, nobody moved. Everyone barely breathed.

Finally, a single word broke the silence. _"Henrietta?"_ Mosely breathed in a tight whisper.

 _"I think 'Ms. Lange' will do."_ Hetty replied coldly. _"And you are not doing anything more to my team."_

While Callen, Sam, and Kensi turned back to Mosely with barely controlled smirks, Deeks, Nell, and Eric's unbridled joy at Hetty's rebuke was apparent in their smiles.

Shay Mosely looked like a cornered dog; she tried to display dominance and confidence, but her eyes betrayed her. They flashed with terror as she took in the gravitas of the situation before her.

 _"Ms. Lange, as acting Director of NCIS's West Coast Operations, I have every right-"_ she began, before Hetty cut her off.

 _"Shay, the only right you have left right now is to leave the building with your ass intact!"_ Hetty said.

Sensing that she was getting nowhere with dominance, Mosely tried a softer approach. _"I was just trying to instill some discipline in your team! They were getting too comfortable. I-I was trying to help them…"_

 _"I don't give a damn what you were *trying* to do. What I do care about is that your leadership decisions led to one of my analysts nearly being killed for NO REASON other than flexing your authority!"_

 _"But-"_

 _"NO MORE! Mr. Hanna, please see to it that Ms. Mosely has her things packed and escort her from the premises within the next hour. I'll be at MY desk. Ms. Jones, please get Director Vance on the line. Everyone else, you know what you need to be doing, so get to it."_ Hetty instructed as she turned and left the office. Nell and Eric returned to the OPS center, and Callen, Deeks, and Kensi followed Hetty downstairs.

Sam moved to stand watch by the door, arms folded. _"Tick tock."_ he said to Mosely with a nearly imperceptible smirk.

 **-Several hours later-**

Hetty sat at her desk, trying to tackle the mountain of paperwork that pertained to all the cases the team had handled in her absence. She was reading up on the cases to see what she had missed. Her phone call with Leon had been riddled with the occasional outburst of indignation, but by the time she hung up, Shay Mosely was summoned back to Washington on the next available flight; with any luck, she'd never work this side of the Rockies again.

She was reading the report from the warehouse where Nell had been shot. When she finally finished it, she set it on the desk and sighed. She then took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose; it had been a tiring day, and reading such a harrowing report of a beloved analyst's near-death taxed her further. The sound of approaching footsteps reached her ears as she continued to rub her tired eyes.

 _"Mr. Callen."_ she said without looking up.

With a smirk at her powers of observation, Callen sat down in a chair opposite the desk. _"How are you doing, Hetty?"_ He asked sincerely.

Hetty replaced her glasses and looked at him. _"I'm exhausted and in need of a good drink."_ She rose and went to her liquor cabinet. _"Care to join me?"_ she asked, taking out a bottle of Scotch and two glasses without waiting for his answer. They sat in silence for several minutes, contemplating the events of the afternoon.

 _"I'm very sorry, Mr. Callen."_ Hetty softly broke the silence. _"I'm very sorry indeed for everything that has happened in my absence. I thought I knew Ms. Mosely better than I did, when I recommended her to fill the void while I was gone. Her record read like a model agent; spotless, dedicated, professional….ironic that she worked so hard to get on my team under my authority, that she managed to actually rise to my position. Only to lose everything…."_ she trailed off.

Callen nodded, absently turning his glass round and round in his hands as he listened to her. _"It's okay, Hetty. Her choices weren't yours."_ he said, trying to absolve her of the guilt she expressed.

 _"No, but had I been here, she wouldn't have been."_ Hetty replied, draining her glass and pouring another. Callen raised an eyebrow out of concern; he'd never seen her consume more than one glass, at least not so quickly. _"Don't be alarmed, Mr. Callen; I've drank our friend Mr. Kolchek under the table at least once. I'm quite certain two will do me no harm."_ She looked up at him with a genuine smile of affection, which he returned.

Nearly an hour later, Callen rose and stretched. Hetty took their glasses and put away the Scotch. Since he only had the one measure, he offered to drive her home; she accepted, and he went to gather his things from his desk. The other three agents had long departed, as had Eric and Nell, leaving the Mission in dim silence. Callen looked around, grateful to know that he wasn't leaving for the final time.

Callen dropped Hetty at her home and started to head for his own place, feeling more at peace than he had in several days.


End file.
